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YokulX88
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Name: Matthew
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 9/12/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: Music
Expertise: Eating like a fatass!
AIM s/n-YokulX
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/24/2003
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| yay...today I finally turn 18...lol. I haven't written in here awhile. I started going to CSUN on September 5th, so far it's okay I guess. I like my bio and psych professors but I hate my math professor because I can't understand what he is saying haha. It wasn't until now that I'm starting to realize that summer is over =/, it still kind of feels like I'm on vacation.
So now a typical day for me is getting up around 7, shower and eat...drop off my little sister at 8 and head straight to CSUN. I get there around 8:30ish depending on traffic...my classes dont even start until 9:30 or 10:00 but i go there early just to find parking and read or do hw about an hour before class. I usually get home around 1:00 except for thursdays i get home at like friggin 5:00!
Yep...so far college doesn't seem too hard, but I'm sure it will be once the dust settles.
Now I know why I stopped writing in this xanga...I'm too fuggin lazy! lol. | | |
| I got back from the Alaskan Cruise last night. I traveled from Canada, Washington, Oregon, and California all in one day. The drive was so fuggin long mang! hmm...I don’t know where to begin, it was pretty amazing. I got to visit 3 little cities: Juneau(the capital), Sitka, and Ketchikan(Salmon City). Juneau was nothing like I had imagined, it was pretty ghetto…there was all these crack heads walking around all paranoid looking when all of us tourists had arrived. I even saw one rolling up a joint lol. The majority of the populations in those cities are involved in fishing which I thought was kind of neat…something like 65% of Juneau is in the fishing business. I got to see many totem poles, salmon, glaciers, bald eagles, etc. It started getting repetitive towards the end; the 3 cities were very similar.
I can’t believe that I lived on a ship for a whole week! The ship was incredible: it was like 700 ft by 100 ft, 10 decks, “24/7” buffet, swimming pools, basketball courts, tennis courts, gym, a theatre, and many more. I fuggin gained 10 pounds! I got to eat and sleep like a damn king! Hahaha. All the weight I had lost over summer I had gained back and then some in just over a week lol. Oh well…I’ll start exercising again hopefully.
I felt so sorry for the crew, they work like slaves! They are mostly from Indonesia or the Philippines and work on the ship for a whole year straight! They work 7 days a week for like 13 hours a day. After their year is up they get a 2-3 month vacation and then return back to the ship. I think there’s about 500 crew members and 1,400 passengers. I’m surprised at how they were so friendly and treated us so well. They don’t even get paid that much: less than minimum wage but at their home countries it’s worth a lot.
Anyway we took a lot of pictures but right now I’m too lazy to upload them…maybe later. The trip had its ups and downs but overall it was a great experience for me. I got sea sick on the 2nd day of the cruise and threw up =/ lol.
AHH College is starting soon!!! Good luck everybody! | | |
| Well today I woke up feeling like shit, feeling like my life progressively gets worse. It almost feels like I’m being punished. For the past couple years I’ve been pretty miserable mostly because of all this pain: my neck, my back, my chest, my shoulder, my wrist, my knees, and my ankles. But at least my asthma doesn’t act up like it used to? I know I take so many things for granted but I can’t be thankful all the time. I should be thankful for the fact that I’m still alive after what I’ve been through as a child, thank god for modern medicine. But sometimes I forget about those hospital visits and it seems like they never happened. All of these things have held me back my whole life. I could never do the things I want to do.
It feels like my life is being taken away from me even though I’m provided with everything and then some. Aside from physical pain, I hate to say this but I’ve been pretty depressed. I may seem fine and have even told people that everything is alright but honestly that's mostly because nobody wants to hear this shit. I’m filled with so much anger and hatred. All these emotions I can’t express. It seems unhealthy; it seems like I’m doing this all to myself. There shouldn’t be any reason for this: I have a family, just moved in a nice home, leaving for a cruise to Alaska tomorrow, starting college soon at csun, etc. I just feel so worthless, like I got nothing going for me. I’m not talented or intelligent. I don’t know what I want to be, it feels like I'm not taking control of my own destiny. I lack self-confidence. I have lost faith. I feel like a waste of existence. I blame myself for it all.
This reminds me of Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, if you've taken psychology you’ve probably heard of it.
I hope I can look back at this someday and just laugh at myself.
I leave for the long drive to Seattle tomorrow where I will board the cruise to Alaska for a week. I hope this experience will brighten things up for me. Maybe I’ll post pictures when I get back…
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| Why did I stop using this xanga?!
Last night I was so bored that I visited my old xanga and read a lot of my old entries...I found it pretty hilarious and so I've now decided to start writing in it again for myself so I can remember these days later on in life. Also, maybe you are just as bored as me and could use some reading material =P (lol Kristine)
Hmmm...where to begin though?? Well...so far my summer is pretty boring, I moved for the first time in my life to Simi Valley on July 3rd. Moving was a pain just as I expected but thank God we hired professional moving people for all the huge furniture. Anyway we're still not completely finished moving and still need to sell the house in Glendale. After settling in over here, I didn't know what to do with all my free time so I decided to make myself some sort of daily routine. A typical summer day for me is waking up around 8ish,(I know it's early for most people but I've always been a morning person) the first thing I do is feed my fishies and then feed my fatself. After that I stretch and do either 100 pushups or 100 ab slides with that stupid ab slider from those stupid infomericials. Then I throw in various weight lifting with my dumbells, what ever I feel like doing like curls, tricep dips, etc. After I finish those exercises I usually play the drums for about half an hour or so just so i won't forget technique and stuff. Then i might play guitar, surf the web, chat on aim, or watch T.V. or something. Yep pretty boring...Oh also after dinner at 7ish i either jog/walk, scooter, or rollerblade for an hour around my neighborhood with my family everyday. So yeah, I've been exercising a lot because there's nothing else to do. I have my license but no car =/ so I can't really go and visit my friends back in Glendale. I don't really have any friends here![haha loner status]*sigh* I think the only thing I have to look forward to this summer is the cruise to Alaska!! My family and I are going on a cruise on August 16th to celebrate my parents 25th anniversary(July 4th)! Right now the cruise sounds like heaven on earth haha. So yea that's pretty much my summer...what a way to spend my summer before I start college eh?
Though summer is quite boring for me, it has given me plenty of time to think about my life. I've already started to miss high school even though it felt so great to finally graduate from that damn place. I'm also filled with so many regrets right now, like why didn't I do this or that or whatever...but it's the past and we should put the past behind us right? One thing I've noticed though is that there are like huge chunks of junior and senior year missing from my memory...like it feels like they were the same year? I mean like I can remember sophomore year and the summer after so well. I guess those were my funnest days and memories. The summer in 2004 was by far the best summer of my life! Also it was the only summer I had summer school. Even though summer school was difficult I had a great time going to hoover and seeing all my old friends again and meeting new friends. This summer sucks...haha.
Alrighty I guess that's enough writing for today. I hope everybody is enjoying their summer vacation!(I know I'm not lol.)
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| woopty doo i'm 17 today...haven't wrote in here for a long time...haha
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